Movie Pitch: Lord of the Files

Here’s an old idea I had for a movie. Probably better suited to a short subject rather than a feature, but who knows?

Working title: Lord of the Files

Logline: A modern day office breaks into tribal warfare in an updated version of the classic novel Lord of the Flies.

Synopsis: Around 9 am on a normal Tuesday, a busy sales office discovers that their branch manager is dead. With no central leader to keep order, the office breaks down by department into factions. Sales, Accounting, Purchasing, Customer Care, Administrative, and HR all begin to stake our territories and slowly turn tribal. Small skirmishes flare. By just after lunch, it’s clear the whole office is headed down a path of destruction.

The sales department is the most aggressive, having beaten the HR department into submission and claimed the break room area for themselves. When the sales manager begins to have second thoughts about what is going on, his top sales rep stages a coup, and the sales manager is exiled into no man’s land – i.e., the production plant, which has become a savage wasteland inhabited by the violent production workers.

Meanwhile, customer care attempts to form an alliance with purchasing, accounting, and admin to stave off destruction at the hands of sales. Food is scarce, though, and it’s up to the rookie in customer care to brave no man’s land to cross through the plant, raid the vending machine, and return. He makes it back with an armful of Cheezits and Payday bars, wounded but alive, and the alliance is forged just in time for battle.

Armed with staplers, letter openers, and rubber band guns, the sales force strikes in an attempt to obliterate their colleagues and conquer the whole of the office. The bloody battle begins at 4:58 pm, but as soon as the clock strikes five, everyone stops what their doing, grabs their stuff, says their goodbyes, and heads home.

We end on a shot of the dead manager, his head still on the desk, rotting away.

This idea came to me many years and a few office jobs ago. I never pursued it because (A) I could never seem to get a start on it, and (B) I never read Lord of the Flies nor had the desire to read it.